Hi all,
Thought to make an update. Its one year one month post meta - everything all in one.
- Due to Covid I have not had a revision yet. So I have been putting gauze in my pants and am used to it as I leak pee. I think its better than wearing pampers or pads Ito my dysphoria so its just two thin sterile gauze. I pee standing using my STP I keep in boxers due to the massive hole under my base of penis - sometimes there is a small stream at the tip that sprays (very weak tho) so ya I can't sit to pee haha - makes me so dysphoric so I pack that stp.
- The surgeon in my country for the revision due to my urethral defect (basically he needs to redo the urethra and I will have catheters back in - so do it all again) and is charging me $10k. half of my Serbia surgery ... (all self paid - not covered in my country - am in so much debt right now.... going to consolidate my credit cards and loans sigh).
- So anatomy still looks same like previous post - balls higher still. Actually one balls is moving into the back (so not protruding) like the right one. Had sent pics to Miro and he said I need to replace both - great... I honestly have lost all faith and trust.
- I called Dr Crane in the US - I sent him the pictures. He gave me some closure or answers as I have been going abit crazy wondering what went wrong in the last year - what could I have done etc.. it is what is is, anyways Dr Crane said this is why he does not do all in one surgery - its because what he does is he adds weight to the balls and then adds the balls later. The all in one surgery means that sometimes the balls had a tendency to go up above the penis and that is what happened to me...
- My thinking now 1) do I fix meta (I would have to do the surgery again basically and go thru stitches and two catheters etc anyways) or 2) do I get phalloplasty since I'm doing the dam surgery again.. lol
- the reason I am thinking of phallo is my penis is soooooo small. Looks the same as before or is hidden in between my balls now so gets 'squashed'. I still pack!!! I realised for me its not about sex but its about feeling complete and having something down there.. this is what made me start to think of phallo.
ORGASM
- also FYI when you cum post surgery its soooooooo intense. so diferent. Now I understand what its meant to 'throb' coz you do throb like bio males and I can relate the connections to my mind and body sooo well now - its so aligned as it always was meant to be - so yes it is pretty good :) YOU DEFO DO 'CUM HARD'. Like it all makes sense now. Anyways I have restrictions coz of the way my anatomy looks to still trying to find a way but when I do find the angle its amazing!!! so that's a really great positive from surgery :)
UNPACKING
- so Phallo was never on the cards for me hence why I went for meta - I love my arms and thighs too much and it would be a contant reminder that my head couldn't visually take. plus I am stealth and want to avoid too many questions and its just waaaaaay toooo invasive for me. So there is back-donor site as well lets unpack for me
1) Arms - I cannot deal with a visual dent in my arms. Not shaming anyone btw I'm unpacking my thoughts and opinions. I do not have the mental strength to deal with that. Though all my research shows this is the BEST due to sensation with nerves etc. Phallus will be thin.
2) Thighs - same as above can't deal with visual. The problem is you will have girthy one but you have fat on thighs so you may have to do a few liposuctions. Again not for me..
3) there is back donor - apparently this is hard phallus so sometimes its hard enough for penetration or semi due to I guess we have more muscle on our backs/lats. this is a question mark for me at the moment. Coz I do love gym and am thinking about loss of strength of my back muscles etc but need to do more research. they say you don't feel as much sensation as the arms for this.
4) so while I research (3) back - I am thinking about doing abdomen plasty. Crane does not do this but Miro does this. I am actually looking for a doc in UK for this as I saw someones reddit and it looked amazing! Why abdomen - I have my arms back and legs all not touched. there massive scar will be dow there so I guess I can cover with my boxers etc. The only prob is sensation apparently - the worst sensation suxually - but I will still have my T-dick and feel that buried but more won't feel the tip of my large phallus. UNLESS I get a nerve from my arm harvested. For me I prolly didn't mention but sex is not.a big part of my life so for me its more about having something down there so am really drawn to this one!
IF ANYONE HAS THOUGHTS OR HAD ANY OF THE ABOVE OR RESEARCH IF I AM MISSING KEY THINGS TO HELP ME DECIDE I WILL REALLY APPRECIATE IT. !! :)
I called Miro to talk about the phallo - off course he called me straight away coz its new business. I am just disappointed as he didn't answer my questions act my meta but now that I am asking act phallo - he called me video call literally the same day. I guess where more money is involved.. or it honestly feels this way.. Anyways - he sent me pics of the abdomen phallos he did and a few back ones. His price is reasonable and he did discount it for me due to my meta surgery or maybe he felt guilty I don't know.
I called Crane and asked for a quite for fixing meta and phallo. My dilemma is I want abdomen phallo but crane doesn't do it, and I want Crane. The second dilemma is I cannot afford crane as he was quoting arm phallo for nearly $100k USD. I am already in debt for Half of that I honestly have no more money and struggling!! Now to fix the meta - I don't even know how I will fix it as I need to start saving again or getting my credit rating up to borrow more... Sucks that there is no insurance coverage where I live. Sigh.
So ye that's my update 1 yr 1 month. (if any of you have any questions leave anonymous comment below and I can answer or help where I can). Peace and love to all of you.
