WEEK FOUR & FIVE SUMMARY

I clearly can’t count or do maths aha but the last “week 2 summary” was “weeks 2 and 3” :) this summary is weeks 4 and 5! 

1. Apparently I have two raw cuts under my penis on left and right side. Dr took a picture and it was so pink and raw and he said I need to put gauze under so that my penis doesn’t rub against my scrotum to cause friction and also for moisture removal to heal. Took a few attempts to do it but listen to docs orders. Don’t be shy to ask for help the first time if needed.
2. Bought Medi honey by comvita as per one of my mates am who went through the same surgery. Will apply this after speaking to the doctor for healing the cuts above.
3. Oh how I HATE the catheter bag!! I dread it every night when I sleep around 930/10pm and can’t wait to take it off when I wake around 8. Dr says to remove on 30th! Being 4 weeks post surgery on 2 Dec! Can’t wait! But scared and worries how the hell am I going to void!? But the good thing is I voided by mistake a few times in serbia so less worried.
4. Remember eat your broccoli et all ! Take care of your body as you just put it through so much. Now your turn to help give the body what it needs
5. My balls are still higher than my penis so still trying to push them down every now and again for ten mins. Think will increase this time.
6. Started voiding on 28th as dr said I could do 2 days before catheter is out i guess for practise. Weird at first - you need to block the catheter with the plug. I sat down for that day to practise. You have to pull back top pubic area so penis is out or straight. Mine is too tight for penis to come out but I guess over time and once cuts etc heal it will come out with practise. Then you just focus and say I’m calm or whatever mantra you use and you will feel the pee coming and you just go normally. I have a strong stream even Miro when I sent him videos he said was strong. So urine gushes all over.
7. On 29th after my shower I noticed at the Catheter site Pubic region- there was some yellow gunc coming out and it didn’t look good. Sent pic to Dr ( when I say Dr most of the time I mean Dr Borko btw :) he is the best doctor in terms of his bedside manner and compassion patience and getting back to you on concerns!). He told me best to take out catheter that day than on 30th! I wasn’t prepared but had to do it! With the help of my family who took it out for me it was done in the arvo. 
8. There is a video here for how to do it https://www.metoidioplasty.net/resources/videos/removing-suprapubic-catheter.htm
9. Even though I had just peed when they took out the tube there was a lot of pee that gushed out. I’m guessing that was stuck in the tube per say or flowing through. So have absorbent towels around tummy and under you perhaps a changing baby nappy. It does burn a little as the tube is being pulled out but bearable. I’d say 4/10 overall and times of pulling are more like 6/10 but happened maybe twice. 
10. There is a huge hole after removal. We put alcohol swabs to disinfect then covered with gauze and bandage I case of more urine or discharge. 
11. I had a stitch left in as it was grown under skin so removed next day myself with tweezer where you have to hold the knot first with tweezer and the use razor to cut knot (as you cannot pull out with knot you will rip your skin and it be more painful!). The removed knot and picked one side of the leftover stitch and pulled out through skin. Wasn't tooo painful. Just weird and scary as I never did this before! (4/10)
12. The dr said to cover with the gauze and bandage for 3 days then leave open so hole closes. Everyday I would change and use alcohol swabs. There was still some yellow discharge but it started closing day 2 then day 4 and 5 better. The pain in abdomen after removal hurt as I guess the catheter was being removed and trigger all muscles from there to the bladder so I had to relearn how to sit slowly on loo and relearn how to get out of bed and in bed etc but you and the body figure that out. That’s the beauty and power of our magnificent vehicle which I am so grateful for carrying and taking care of me so well and to the best of its ability!
13. I tried to sit without doughnut on 30th as dr said I should be sitting normal etc. it hurt and was so uncomfy like needles poking me then I read and also realised I have dissolvable stitches down there that’s why they hurt. I tried sitting for a long time and different positions and forced myself to be normal. Next day I was bleeding a lot! So don’t force yourself! Use a doughnut. Your body and you will naturally know when to force. (Like you will learn to get out of bed quicker and learn to go number 2 and push tummy muscles quicker over time as the body naturally heals) Try little by little.
14. After catheter removal I noticed my gauze was not only mainly blood. There was a lot of urine stain around. Dr said I need to push from the bottom on balls to remove all p but there is nothing at the bottom of my balls it’s hard and my balls are above my penis that’s why I need to push them down over time. So still figuring that one out.
15. Over a week of peeing (did few days sitting then started standing in the bathtub with a mirror) I noted that there are many streams and that my drain area is leaking and that’s perhaps where the urine leakage mainly comes from. Will need to msg dr on this. But back to the many streams I was initially told I had one fistualla and to hold or block it with a finger and it will go over time with voiding. But then i saw I had 4 holes where irons was coming out from 1) penis 2&3) left and right side under penis (I think from the above mentioned left and right cuts under penis) and 4) where Drain is. I emailed both Dr Borko and Dr Miro about this as this is one of the main reasons for the surgery. To be able to STP! Borko said the left and right side comes from the fistualla he thinks and miro said to try and push back the penis to block holes and void to see. Basically trial and error. I’m not going to lie I am a bit disappointed but I am going to try my best to work it out and let the body heal over time. Though I can’t even see or feel where the dam fistualla is that’s why I think it’s behind the penis. Anyways I will keep trying and figuring out through trial and error. Wish me luck! :) 
16. Dr said I should start pumping but I showed him the red left and right under penis cuts still red and he said ok wait another week and use medicinal honey. I must say my penis swelling has gone down and penis size as well. I looked back at a picture I had sent miro pre surgery and was a tiny teeny bit disappointed as it looks the same bar a little bit thicker but everything else looks the same and they just wrap the balls in each labia and stitch the bottom. Mmmmm I think I just need time for all to settle and move down and into place I reckon. Patience. More patience ... ommmmmmm lol.
17. I also noted I have a stitch in my belly button dr said I should take out. Will attempt tomorrow :/ I believe dr Marko forgot to take it out at my last check up at the hospital when he removed the rest of the stitches from the laparoscopy. Tbf it is right inside the belly button and there is a lot of black crust and I saw a small purple stitch. Hopefully it won’t be too painful *fingerscrossed*
18. My concerns right now 

• 1) when is the bleeding going to stop. They said in time. 
• 2) how to fix the leakage and the other 3 holes including the cuts under penis. They said with time practise and medicinal honey. 
• 3) when are my balls going to drop. Again over time and keep pushing.